Boards Can Also Be Boards

[00:01] Do you want me to do the whole thing in British accent the whole the whole I mean that would be helpful
[00:07] Paul and starboard
[00:10] Yes, but I don't I want you to fix that in post. I don't want to have to hear it while we're recording
[00:16] Oh, I see. So do you want me to go back and rerecord everything? I say
[00:20] 100% okay
[00:23] Please no time at all. It'll be easy easy
[00:27] easy-peasy
[00:29] Barely and then can be
[00:31] Okay, you know what Joey actually this is something I've started I've decided I'm gonna start saying this at the bar until
[00:38] Some attractive woman recognizes what I'm saying and then I'm just gonna marry her Oh barely
[00:43] super easy barely in inconvenience
[00:46] And if she goes I know where that's from I'm being like
[00:49] Put a ring on have no in between as soon as she move as soon as she says I watch that dude
[00:56] I've said it like four or five times this weekend and no one has
[01:02] commented on it all but I'm like
[01:04] so I'm just gonna keep doing drop to your knee or and ask her to marry you or you just
[01:10] Gonna just take her to the
[01:12] No, I'll do I'll drop to my one good knee
[01:15] Okay
[01:19] Don't no, no, I'll just I'll just ask for her number immediately, okay
[01:26] Yeah, and then you're gonna say that means we're married now
[01:31] I'm just saying that that she will be my future ex-wife if she responds to it is all I'm saying, okay
[01:36] Yeah, I'll figure it out. It'll be super easy. Barely make me yes. Mm-hmm
[01:44] What could possibly go wrong?
[02:01] Was the playa super excited told us we had to
[02:05] I said we said we signed up for it in the end. It's gonna be better and more true than Google can give you
[02:16] All right Coalson, I want to demystify something in the world for you I
[02:23] Like that what why aren't we the demystifiers?
[02:27] We can be all right
[02:29] Just change our our Twitter handle. Mmm. I don't know. They're probably charged like $50,000
[02:39] probably gonna skip on that but
[02:42] Yeah, let's uh, let's demystify something for you. What?
[02:46] What do you have some confusion around in your life? I mean, let's keep it to one thing for right now. Oh, yeah, exactly
[02:53] I'd pay a therapist for that my friend
[02:56] so we actually were doing a recent podcast and we were talking about two orca whales called port and starboard and
[03:05] I thought
[03:07] What the heck's that about why do we name the sides of a boat port and starboard and I thought
[03:14] I
[03:16] Know some really smart guys. I should just ask them
[03:19] So, hmm, why don't you meet them? Why did we name the sides of boats port and starboard? Which one's port?
[03:25] Which one's starboard why and how?
[03:30] Go
[03:32] Well, I can say with 50%
[03:35] Confidence that port is left and starboard is right
[03:39] If I'm standing at the back of the boat or the front of the boat
[03:42] Well, it doesn't actually matter where you're standing. It matters which way you're facing
[03:48] Okay, if I'm facing the back of the boat
[03:51] Then reverse that okay. So if I'm facing the front of the first starboard is the back of the boat facing the front
[03:59] I guess if I'm standing at the back facing the front port is left
[04:05] Starboard is right. I'm at least 50% confidence
[04:10] Really good percentage chance on that one. Well, let's let's let's take it up to 55 because that's what I thought is okay
[04:17] I like this very strong. Well, so starboard
[04:22] Starboard I'm hanging out on a board and I'm looking at the stars
[04:26] Right like that. That makes sense. Right? Do you look out you look out the stars on the right side?
[04:33] They're all around you right? That's true. They're all around you
[04:36] Are our sails in the way if you're looking to the left? I mean it depends on which tack you're well, I guess true
[04:46] We should probably start with the time period. So
[04:50] Yeah, it feels very British. Yeah. Oh it does for sure. It seems old-timey
[04:56] naval
[04:58] Stuff and that's got like Britain written all over it
[05:02] 1600s I mean
[05:05] Columbus earlier than 1492. So so like 13 at 1200s
[05:12] Okay. All right. And that's when the ocean was blue and not mostly plastic. So you're okay
[05:18] Agreed agreed
[05:19] But you're saying that these things were already established before Columbus went out like we've been talking about this
[05:24] since the beginning of
[05:26] Naval, are we talking about the Vikings? Like where are we going? I?
[05:32] Can't I wouldn't think they would use those terms. Well, I mean not in English
[05:37] They would have said something weird and there wasn't a lot of cross play between the
[05:43] Britons and the Vikings that didn't end in decapitation
[05:47] Okay. Okay. All right
[05:51] So let's go like
[05:53] 1400s I mean for 1400 14 ends. Okay. All right. All right 14 hundreds and
[06:01] British Spanish French were of were and
[06:06] Who else who else was all over the water at that point?
[06:10] It's a Portuguese Portuguese. Yeah, those days were cruising. They were
[06:16] The Dutch did some stuff that's a little bit the Italians
[06:21] But yeah, mostly, you know, the landlocked island nation
[06:27] Was very interested in a deep water
[06:31] They they were the Royal Navy. They they basically ran the seas for a long period of time
[06:36] agreed
[06:38] Yeah
[06:39] So yeah, I mean I when I and this may be
[06:43] It's completely wrong. But like when I think of the both I don't really I mean, I don't think of anything
[06:50] different from
[06:52] Like boat configuration. I feel like everything's like symmetrical on a boat. I agree. Yeah, I think so
[06:59] You know not certainly could be wrong there
[07:01] But everything seems like it needs to needs to mostly be symmetrical like that would be my understanding
[07:06] It should be the same. It's gotta be balanced. You know, it's it's gotta be yeah
[07:10] it's gotta be balanced like
[07:12] because it's you know, you need to say a float and and
[07:15] You know, it depends on you know, what type of boat these y'all, you know, they've got the your sailboats
[07:21] and
[07:22] you know you you need to be able to maneuver the
[07:26] you know the sail around but
[07:28] and you've got your
[07:31] Your huge, you know comically large
[07:36] Steering wheel which is probably not called that but I think that's the nautical term
[07:42] Well, Joey, okay, we large or steering wheel I think this is yeah
[07:47] But Joe I would agree with you that the most important part of a boat is floating
[07:52] I think you made a really good strong point there. I say we start there
[07:56] No, I think I think these terms are important when you're steering a boat because they are symmetrical, right?
[08:02] Because they are exactly the same on both sides
[08:05] You need to distinguish them so you can cry out which direction to go
[08:09] To the people that are tacking
[08:12] right
[08:14] Cuz I don't think we're in a canoe we're talking about port and starboard right like or a kayak, right?
[08:20] We're just doing this in larger boats
[08:23] That's true. Where there's more people where we have to talk about it. I still don't know why they couldn't I just
[08:30] Nautical people are different. They just they need all their own stuff. You could have just gone with life than right. Yeah
[08:36] Yeah, I feel like it. Yeah, I just can't like are there other
[08:42] Scenarios out there in any other is there any other place where they just were like alright left and right is not
[08:48] It's not cutting it for me
[08:51] We need some words that mean the exact same thing, but are different words. Well, sort of right
[08:57] Aviation took on all the nautical stuff
[09:00] So like even NASA uses like weird AV or weird nautical terms
[09:05] I think
[09:07] So is it is this situation where you can get disoriented at sea?
[09:11] Like it's like left and right no longer matter north and south don't make any sense
[09:16] Well, then why would port and starboard have meeting if you were disoriented? I mean they're they're they are direct
[09:24] Like replacements for each other, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're right
[09:28] Well, okay. So
[09:30] Here's the thing that comes to mind first
[09:32] I mean, I think we've kind of honed in on on a time period the thing for me that I think of that that concerns me is
[09:39] does the
[09:41] fortified wine port
[09:44] come from
[09:46] the boat name or does
[09:48] the boat
[09:51] Name the wine, right? So like are we
[09:55] Is is the port side of the of the boat where we store the wine?
[10:02] or
[10:05] Somehow wine comes out of the the side of the boat. I think the I
[10:11] Think port comes from Portugal
[10:15] Which is not oh, that's right
[10:18] What I didn't get anywhere with that one
[10:21] Hey, we're bound to have some dead ends when we're literally just you know, I'd hear throwing shit against me
[10:25] Yes, we're not literally doing that
[10:28] Maybe your house, you know what?
[10:30] I
[10:34] Want to thank you for
[10:37] Understanding the actual, you know the definition of and then using it literally incorrectly
[10:46] Immediately
[10:48] At least I'm contrite about it
[10:51] Yeah
[10:53] So, okay. So so Porto has nothing to do with port. I don't think so. Yeah
[10:59] But now but now it makes me think that it it is coming from a Spanish language
[11:07] Well, Portuguese is not Spanish
[11:10] Or you think what are you thinking of Spanish? I mean like romantic language, right? The Spanish romantic port
[11:16] Portugal there. It's all the same thing
[11:19] Well, so millions of people no, no, no, but what I'm saying is that they're they're they're the same
[11:24] I'm
[11:26] Roman influences on those languages what I'm saying is the Portuguese could be this similar to Spanish and we're talking about poor
[11:32] Oh might mean because because I feel like
[11:35] Portal, you know comes from something. So we're talking about a door, you know, like well sure
[11:42] Puerto is don't like door in Spanish. Yeah. Yeah, but
[11:46] My argument against that would be I don't think they name these things separately
[11:50] Because what good would one of these descriptors do you and
[11:54] Starbird does not have a particularly Portuguese ring to it. No, I agree. That's an excellent point
[12:00] but I I wonder if these things
[12:04] sort of have a confluence in time or a moment in time like
[12:10] Is Portugal on the left when they're
[12:15] Coming out where they're going out to see mean
[12:18] Some places yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying like
[12:23] Yeah, I don't feel like there's no bad ideas here Joey. It's the end of Googles. I thought that before but anyway, so
[12:31] you know the I
[12:34] Don't know. I think the door. I think the door is on the left
[12:37] I think that's where the plank is and that's the Porto
[12:40] It's the port the portal and that that's where the plank is where they they push people off to their deaths
[12:46] And I think the right side is where you go in stargaze
[12:51] So so you're not interrupted by all the dead bodies
[12:56] There's no hole on the right side and you've got a nice a nice dessert wine
[13:08] Honestly, I think the door side is the port side. I think you get on the left side of the boat and
[13:15] Then the other side is the star
[13:19] Gazing side where and we learned that oh, you know board is table, right?
[13:25] So like maybe they put tables out there where you have your port and drink and watch the stars
[13:31] Maybe maybe they maybe they did standard eyes, you know, we maybe they did standard eyes that
[13:36] Maybe that you know, the the way on and off the boat is on the left side
[13:42] Right, like is out there and so like when you go to the well you dock at the port
[13:48] the port is the place of
[13:51] Where you keep ships? Oh
[13:53] There we go. Right? So gay. We remember
[13:56] Harper you and I talked about this before it was like red light blue light
[14:01] Coming and going or whatever. They yeah, there are now red and green lights for reading green lines, right? Yeah
[14:07] Yeah, it's like there's nautical saying red right return
[14:10] Like you're supposed to be on certain sides and channels and it may be that for navigation purposes you were supposed to
[14:17] approach the port
[14:20] You vote you and when you go in you're going to be docking on the left side and in fact
[14:26] I've been on some boats. I feel like that's usually true. I don't really remember I
[14:32] Was usually drinking you did a lot. You've did a lot more boat travel
[14:36] I think I've done some boat travel, but I'm pretty sure it usually is on the the left side
[14:41] so if you're
[14:44] So the port and the reason it's called the port is because that's the door to the to the boat
[14:51] I like to say blank
[14:53] Or the music
[14:55] Yeah, this is good. I like a portal to the netherworld because you're gonna die. Yeah. Yeah
[15:00] It's a portal to or to the to the dock. Ooh
[15:05] You know what though there may be less sharks in those waters. So maybe you do last a little bit longer
[15:09] the work is
[15:11] Aidom. Yeah, they cleared them out for you. Well, so we didn't know he didn't talk about this
[15:15] But to port and starboard work together
[15:18] To like crow the work the killer whales. Yeah. Yeah
[15:23] Yeah orcas are dream team. Yeah, they're they're pack. I mean
[15:29] They should be on the cover of you know, the
[15:34] Suck it shark magazine
[15:40] It's the name of this pot
[15:44] So, okay, so port gets connected to the door and then what's the other side
[15:49] The other side is so if you've got the port on your left, you're looking into this city
[15:54] not right pretty look the other way it's the stars and the side and
[16:00] because boards are
[16:02] The boards of the the ship now again again boards are tables. I keep forgetting from our last under Google
[16:10] Boards can also be boards boards boards or boards. Okay. All right. I like this. This is great. I like that as a title better
[16:23] No, I think we answer this what yeah, they don't need Google
[16:28] All right, so we I mean I I'm fine to settle that and we think we're going for two hundred
[16:35] What about the well, no, it's cuz you leave Portugal on the left. So when was
[16:40] Portugal invented
[16:43] I'm going eleven hundreds for Portugal. It was you think Portugal was invented or discovered. No
[16:54] Port is the left side of the ship. We got one Joey nailed it
[16:59] Let's shut it down. That's all you guys need. That's all we need to know because it's not gonna get better now
[17:06] Okay, according to chat GPT
[17:10] No, no my new my new solution forever
[17:14] The origins of these terms is believed today back to the early days of seafaring when ships had a steering oar on the right side
[17:22] Starboard and we're tied up to the dock on the left side
[17:26] Port to avoid damaging the oar
[17:29] Over time the terms became standardized and are still used today in maritime communication
[17:34] Yeah, I'm seeing also that the that so since most people are right-handed
[17:39] Then the steering oar was on the right side
[17:43] Which I don't totally get
[17:47] Okay, so
[17:49] Starboard derives from the old English steer board, which means the side in which the ship is steered
[17:55] Which is right or is
[17:58] So we were right
[18:00] but
[18:02] Not for all the right reasons and apparently Port was at one time called the larboard
[18:08] Yeah, I see that too
[18:11] Because it was too easily confused with starboard it does rhyme I could see why that was
[18:18] Why that was confusing?
[18:23] According to I love the sentence from Noah
[18:25] Larboard was replaced with port after all this was the side that faced the port allowing supplies to be ported aboard by porters
[18:34] No, oh my goodness
[18:37] Noah nerds
[18:40] Shout out Noah
[18:42] So we got a time frame on this
[18:45] Mmm, let's see the Oxford English dictionary sites port in this usage since
[18:52] 1543
[18:53] Okay
[18:54] So when we were at 14 hundreds are pretty close
[18:58] We're a couple hundred years off
[19:01] So it's nothing to do with the stars, so nothing to do with what is way more recent
[19:06] Yeah, is what I'm getting is that yeah, it was like the 1800s before they started
[19:10] Calling it port because large birds sounds too much like
[19:14] Star wait, it took them five three hundred years to figure out that it was confusing
[19:19] That's what it's looking like to me. Well, but the Oxford English dictionary has port
[19:25] 1543
[19:27] Port was used in place of starboard probably deriving from the loading port however
[19:32] It was only from the mid 19th century the term was formalized
[19:38] In the sailors word book published in 1867 before the admiralty order
[19:47] Preferred it over larboard
[19:49] So it was likely in and use outside of the Admiralty office
[19:54] Right for sure. Yeah. Yeah, because he's yelling at their people
[20:03] With all the wind and all that stuff, but yeah, I know the fact that that's that wasn't formalized until 1867 is insane
[20:12] What did we get an answer is to still why they didn't just say left and right
[20:20] Because they're nautical is the right because they
[20:24] Listen, we're not like those land lovers
[20:28] With their lefts and their rights is it land lovers
[20:31] It is like lovers. That's probably a that's the under google bow within an under google. It is sure it's a land lover
[20:40] Since port and this is this is ocean service dot
[20:44] Noah dot gov since port and starboard never changed. They are unambiguous references that are independent of a
[20:53] Mariner's orientation and
[20:55] Thus Mariner's use these nautical terms instead of left and right to avoid confusion
[21:00] That doesn't make any sense. So so I mean we just think sailors were so flippin dumb back then
[21:07] But they weren't gonna be able to translate
[21:10] Left side of shit when they're facing. Yeah, cuz they didn't know what their left was from their right. Yeah and
[21:17] Lots of left and right just change on you. I
[21:21] You know, I I know that we weren't using
[21:24] Rocket scientists for sailors back then, you know, a lot of inmates. You know what though I will say this I think if you know
[21:32] In their defense if you say if you just say left
[21:37] I guess that there is some disambiguation there when you say you were always in reference to
[21:42] left right on the ship because if they just say oh, it's on your left and you're a
[21:47] Maybe not that bright and you're facing the back at the ship sure. It sounds like oh, yeah
[21:51] I mean if you are facing the wrong way your left and your right are different
[21:57] Right, but the assumption is you can't figure out which way it would be if you're facing the other right
[22:04] Looking the other way
[22:06] Okay, so basically left and right becomes difficult if you're facing the wrong way
[22:11] You say so I mean it shouldn't be but also but port and starboard don't
[22:17] Make it. I don't know. See I'm saying no, but yeah, but I guess I'm facing the wrong way like port and starboard
[22:24] But it stops but with with a part with a person
[22:29] You know, like if you there's no you can ever say like oh, I thought you meant my left when you say port
[22:35] It means the left side of the ship or there's no like it doesn't matter where you are
[22:39] Okay, there's no way for that to change my left. Yeah. Yeah
[22:44] Like when a room is falling and you're like on your left
[22:49] And they turn the wrong way that person dies
[22:51] I guess at that right seems there was probably a lot of that is I'm sure there was a lot of a lot of child death
[23:01] Figured out port by
[23:04] 1867
[23:05] Cuz I think that there it there's a real, you know, like, you know, there's a lot of like life and death
[23:12] You know
[23:13] communication very scary Joey. Yeah, I mean you definitely could run into all sorts of things that you know the
[23:20] efficacy of your team
[23:23] Basically depends on you know, that that's the
[23:26] Result of who lives and dies and so the less the less confusion that there would be you know
[23:33] The better so no, I think this is natural selection if you don't know right from left
[23:37] You just get knocked out by the again, you know, you're right in your left
[23:42] You know, you should know it but you know, yeah when when the the sail is
[23:47] going and and the you know, your comically large steering wheel is like spinning wildly like
[23:55] And the pirates are coming in on the left or maybe the starboard, I don't know
[24:01] Is it my left my starboard they come from the Caribbean? Yeah
[24:09] Which since Portugal's on the left means
[24:15] Just just get a nice port and totally think that was a really solid answer
[24:20] Portugal's I mean it's as I've as I just learned there's no bad ideas on the show. So yeah
[24:26] So we nailed that. Oh, we nailed it