Sucks More Than Water

[00:06] Cool as a cucumber.
[00:35] Do we think this is a 20s phrase, a 50s phrase, a 60s phrase?
[00:41] Why is a cucumber cool?
[00:43] Is it cool as in awesome?
[00:45] Is it cool as in temperature cool?
[00:48] Why is this a phrase that we use cool as a cucumber?
[00:54] So I think of it along the lines of cool as in temperature, along those same lines as when
[01:02] having ice in one's veins, like you're cool under pressure, so you don't get, your temperature
[01:11] doesn't go up, you're not hyperactivated.
[01:14] And cucumbers are a refreshing fruit, I believe.
[01:22] Do we keep them cold?
[01:25] So this would suggest that refrigeration would be pretty available when we talk about cool
[01:33] as a cucumber?
[01:34] I would think so.
[01:39] A cucumber would be pretty refreshing on a hot day, even if you just picked it right
[01:43] out of the garden.
[01:44] It's so watery.
[01:45] It's all water.
[01:46] Yeah, it's very watery.
[01:48] So you think it's kind of bringing your temperature down, even if it's a hot cucumber?
[01:54] Right.
[01:56] Because I always think of cucumbers, we pickle them, because like, hey, what are we going
[02:01] to do with these things?
[02:02] Why don't you have a band called Hot Cucumber?
[02:08] Actually that was my most successful band.
[02:10] Yeah, for sure.
[02:11] I remember you were winking a lot at the people.
[02:15] I just sold a bunch of mix tapes.
[02:23] And when I say sold, I mean, we gave away a bunch of mix tapes.
[02:27] Right.
[02:28] Yeah.
[02:32] Ooh, that sounded good.
[02:33] Also, that was my nickname in high school.
[02:36] Hot Cucumber?
[02:37] Yeah.
[02:38] You don't want a little bit of this Hot Cucumber.
[02:43] Because of your green skin?
[02:46] You were a mis-colored youth.
[02:53] No, Joey, it's because of my big hot penis.
[02:56] Okay.
[02:57] What was the topic?
[03:00] It was cold cucumbers.
[03:04] It went a little far.
[03:08] Oh, it always does.
[03:10] So Joey, what do you think, do you think this is, do you think, what time period
[03:15] you got on this?
[03:16] Jason's basically saying it cools you down, it's refreshing, it doesn't matter if it's
[03:23] in a fridge, it's just nice and cooling.
[03:27] So that doesn't help us with the timeline.
[03:30] Do you?
[03:31] No.
[03:32] Do you have a?
[03:33] Maybe it does.
[03:34] I mean, I think the 20s, I think, I'm thinking like early, yeah, I think 1920s-ish, maybe
[03:47] 30s, but that's the feeling I get, that's the vibe I get from that phrase.
[03:54] This seems to me more like a 50s, like a Hep Cat, like a Cat's Pajamas, Cool as a Cucumber,
[04:06] maybe even 70s.
[04:07] Cat's Pajamas is like the 20s.
[04:09] 20s, you're right.
[04:10] I'm going to go 70s.
[04:11] I'm going to go, this is brand new.
[04:12] I was thinking even earlier, like Civil War times or something, but.
[04:17] Okay, well then we're wildly different.
[04:18] So Joey's got 20s, you got Civil War, and I got the 70s.
[04:21] But we all think this is an American thing.
[04:23] Yes.
[04:24] Oh, for sure.
[04:25] Okay.
[04:26] I don't know why.
[04:27] Cucumbers have been around for, you know, since as long as they grew cucumbers.
[04:32] I don't know where cucumbers are native to.
[04:36] That's okay.
[04:37] This is a good question too.
[04:38] This is an added question.
[04:39] I'm going to say they're, they feel European to me.
[04:47] Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
[04:52] I feel like English for sure.
[04:55] I feel like they put cucumbers in it.
[04:58] Like, don't they make a cucumber sandwich?
[05:00] Yeah, sure.
[05:01] But it doesn't feel like Mediterranean or Middle Eastern, right?
[05:07] I mean, I guess there's a lot of cucumber and.
[05:09] Yes, you're right.
[05:10] Yeah.
[05:11] So a Greek salad is cucumber.
[05:12] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[05:13] Tomatoes, olives, feta.
[05:14] Yeah.
[05:15] Yeah, yeah.
[05:16] Okay.
[05:17] Hmm.
[05:23] The idea is that cucumbers always feel cool, green, and fresh even in hot conditions.
[05:36] The idiom was very first discovered in a verse by the British poet, John Gay, in a new song
[05:47] on new similes in 1732, quote, cool as a cucumber could see the rest of womankind, end quote.
[06:01] That's according to the idioms.com.
[06:06] Hmm.
[06:08] So 1732, that's, it's British.
[06:13] Okay.
[06:14] Cucumbers.org also mentions John Gay's poem, which apparently this comes from a lovely poem.
[06:22] My passion is as mustard strong, I sit all sober, sad, drunk as a Piper all day long,
[06:30] or like a March hair mad round as a hoop.
[06:34] The bumpers flow, I drink yet can't forget her.
[06:38] For though as drunk as David Sow, I love her still the better part as a pair monger.
[06:44] I'd be if Molly were but kind, cool as a cucumber could see the rest of mankind.
[06:54] Come on Molly.
[06:56] The cucumber originates from South Asia, but now grows on most continents as many different
[07:04] types of cucumber are traded on the global market.
[07:07] Yeah.
[07:11] I have had, I have had Asian cucumbers now that I think about it, there's smaller, I think
[07:17] those are smaller, like it's a smaller variety that's there, but definitely had cucumber
[07:23] salads.
[07:24] Yeah.
[07:25] Yeah.
[07:26] Cool as a cucumber, meaning self-possessed, not excited in control of one's own emotions
[07:33] as from the phrase from John Gays mid 1700s poem, as cool as a cucumber.
[07:42] Okay.
[07:43] So this guy invented this essentially, and somehow it caught on.
[07:46] He just made a poem with a bunch of similes and.
[07:49] Yeah.
[07:50] Yeah.
[07:51] Strong as mustard, you know.
[07:53] Are any of the examples, Pacers assistant coach Greg Foster?
[07:58] Yes.
[08:03] Yeah.
[08:04] Yeah.
[08:05] Good.
[08:07] Well, there you go.
[08:09] The more, you know, 1700s, we were all off, but we got, we got, I think we were getting
[08:16] close to England, maybe.
[08:19] And we said, didn't we say uniquely American?
[08:23] Yeah, we did.
[08:25] Okay.
[08:26] Nailed it.
[08:27] Nailed it.
[08:28] It's the right hemisphere.
[08:30] Also we've not, we have not guessed John Gays poetry before.
[08:35] So that probably put us at a disadvantage.
[08:37] A bunch of this stuff is like, relative to a like scale.
[08:41] When you look at, when you look at, you know, the, the time span of, of like the universe,
[08:48] we were super close, you know?
[08:50] Oh, for sure.
[08:51] Oh yeah.
[08:52] I mean, it's not like we guessed, like the dinosaurs came up with this.
[08:56] That's true for everything that we've guessed, you know.
[08:59] First of all, leave that out of it.
[09:01] All right.
[09:03] Yeah.
[09:04] Slow your roll, Jason.
[09:05] He's trying to make a point.
[09:08] I wasn't done, uh, uh, excusing our, our, our, our mess over here.
[09:13] He hadn't hurt his arm patting ourselves on the back yet.
[09:18] In a 100 gram serving raw cucumber with peel is 95% water, provides 67 kilojoules or 16
[09:31] kilocalories of food energy, uh, and supplies low content of essential nutrients.
[09:40] It is noticeably, it is notable only for vitamin K.
[09:46] Okay.
[09:47] So I, so I'm fine with not eating it because I think it tastes like water and it sucks.
[09:54] It basically is water and it kind of does.
[09:56] I like a good pickle, which is a cucumber just with vinegar, right?
[10:01] Yeah.
[10:02] And salt.
[10:03] It's been like a brined.
[10:04] It's been pickled.
[10:05] I don't know.
[10:06] I'm in, I'm in team team cucumber then because I'm, I love them in my salads and yeah, they're
[10:12] not like super flavorful, but like, I don't know, I'm happy with it.
[10:15] It's crunchy, you know, and uh, I mean, look, water sucks anyway.
[10:21] Why do I want to make my water crunchy?
[10:23] Yeah.
[10:24] Have you had cucumber water before?
[10:27] Like, yeah, it just sucks.
[10:28] Like it sucks more than water.
[10:31] What is wrong with you?
[10:32] Uh, I think cucumbers are bullshit.
[10:36] You know what?
[10:37] You need to get some of this liquid death.
[10:38] Have you guys ever heard of Kool-Aid pickles or Koolicles?
[10:45] No.
[10:46] Apparently they are enjoyed by children in parts of the Southern United States created
[10:53] by soaking dill pickles and a mixture of Kool-Aid and pickle burn.
[10:58] Oh, okay.
[11:00] Actually that sounds awesome.
[11:02] You get like a raspberry flavored pickle or something like that.
[11:06] That sounds beyond terrible.
[11:08] Oh, I'm all in.
[11:11] I'm going to make one tonight.
[11:12] I'll let you know how it goes.
[11:13] Do you have all the ingredients?
[11:15] I mean, I got, okay, I need to buy a cucumber, but I got Jell-O.
[11:19] No, you don't need a cucumber, you just need a pickle.
[11:23] But don't mind, no, I'm pickling, I'm pickling the cucumber in Jell-O mix.
[11:30] Oh my God.
[11:32] Or Kool-Aid mix, all right.
[11:33] So I'm pickling, yeah, because you can't just stick the pickle in the Kool-Aid mix.
[11:40] You're actually pickling the thing with Kool-Aid mix and brine.
[11:43] Well, I guess that's my question is, are you pickling it or are you just using a pickle?
[11:47] No, I'm pickling it.
[11:49] Not you.
[11:50] No, me.
[11:51] The Southern children.
[11:52] No, me.
[11:53] All right.
[11:54] So if you want to do it, you take some sugar and Kool-Aid, which is mostly sugar.
[12:02] You whisk that into the pickle juice and then pour that back over your pickles and you place
[12:08] it in the fridge for about a week.
[12:11] Shake it every day to make sure that the brine is evenly distributed so the pickles can take
[12:16] on the flavor and color of Kool-Aid used.
[12:19] Okay, see, now I'm out.
[12:21] I can't do, I can't shake things every day.
[12:24] Oh my God.
[12:26] You're the bartender.
[12:27] All right, I think we're going to get going before Jason goes down the, he probably is
[12:33] going to get into- I'm going to sell these at the farmer's market now.
[12:38] There you go.
[12:39] He's going to get onto cucumber Twitter and it's going to turn nasty, I think.