Who Watches the Watchers?

[00:00] All right, we got a undegoogable.
[00:10] Oh, we doing undegoogables?
[00:12] That was the play of it.
[00:13] Super excited.
[00:14] I told us we had to, sir.
[00:17] He said we signed up for it.
[00:22] In the end, it's going to be better and more true than Google can give you.
[00:27] I think this one, this has been nagging me for the last
[00:31] every year of my life.
[00:36] Every year of your life.
[00:38] So you've been worried about that.
[00:40] So you waited 40 years to find out the answer to this.
[00:44] Yeah, but I never bothered to look it up.
[00:46] Okay, well that's what the genius of undegoogable.
[00:49] Well, he couldn't look it up. It was undegoogable.
[00:52] Fair enough.
[00:53] It lived in that place in my life.
[00:56] It's something that I'm interested in knowing, but didn't do any effort.
[01:02] Like your marriage?
[01:03] I'm sorry.
[01:06] You shut your mouth.
[01:09] What's the question?
[01:15] Oh, what's the question?
[01:17] Oh, so what's up with the tooth fairy?
[01:21] Huh?
[01:23] What's up with the tooth fairy?
[01:25] Why do we have a tooth fairy?
[01:26] What's going on?
[01:27] Like, does that make any sense?
[01:29] Tooth fairy.
[01:30] Yeah, it's a magical thing that comes and takes children's teeth
[01:33] and gives them money.
[01:34] But parents have to do it.
[01:37] Wait, what?
[01:39] Actually, should we spoiler alert for this if young children are in the car?
[01:43] It's a little bit late for that now, buddy.
[01:49] I was with an old friend who was explaining to me that
[01:55] they'd had a kid lose a tooth,
[01:59] and she didn't have any cash on her.
[02:03] And they were like, what do we do?
[02:05] And so what they did is they went into the room and stole money out of the kid's piggy bank
[02:10] to put under the pillow.
[02:12] Like their style.
[02:13] Yeah, because what else are they going to do?
[02:16] So the kid basically gets money.
[02:18] That kid doesn't have good accounting.
[02:20] Exactly.
[02:21] Puts back in his piggy bank.
[02:23] He's feeling like he's made money.
[02:25] It's his money.
[02:27] Well done.
[02:28] Yeah.
[02:29] It's genius.
[02:30] It is genius.
[02:31] Where does the idea of the tooth fairy come from?
[02:34] I assume it's connected to...
[02:39] Let's describe the tooth fairy.
[02:41] How do you feel about the tooth fairy?
[02:43] Is it angelic?
[02:44] Do they have big wings?
[02:46] Is it like a little goblin that sneaks into your room?
[02:48] What do you think of the tooth fairy when you think of the tooth fairy?
[02:51] That's a good question.
[02:52] For some reason, my impression is an angelic thing.
[02:56] Big white robes.
[02:58] You're thinking of like a tooth angel.
[03:00] Yeah, a tooth angel.
[03:01] Okay.
[03:02] I think we sort of think of fairies.
[03:04] They have a little wand and whatever, like magic sparkles.
[03:07] Right.
[03:08] Yeah, I don't know where that comes from in my brain, though.
[03:10] But yes, that is my impression of them.
[03:13] And then they come down and they...
[03:17] They collect the teeth for some reason.
[03:19] I feel like there's some part of the legend that is that they use the teeth for something else.
[03:26] And so since they're using it for something else, they're going to give you some cash for it.
[03:32] And the amount of cash that kids get just goes up way faster than the rate of inflation, I feel like.
[03:39] When you were a kid, how much did you get for a tooth?
[03:43] $0.25 to $0.50.
[03:45] Yeah, I was $0.25 to $0.50, I feel like.
[03:47] I never got a dollar bill for it, I don't feel like.
[03:50] It was usually coins.
[03:52] Maybe towards the end I got a dollar?
[03:54] Maybe, but it might have been in quarters, I feel like.
[03:56] Yes.
[03:57] Yeah, I never got an actual...
[03:59] I never got paper dollars.
[04:02] Nowadays you get like $5, $10.
[04:04] My parents would definitely correct me.
[04:05] Now the parents wake up and they're like,
[04:07] I only got a 20, you know?
[04:11] They're like, there you go.
[04:12] Just probably Venmo or something.
[04:14] Give me some Bitcoin, kid.
[04:15] Venmo, you're a kid.
[04:20] Why do we create...
[04:22] This is our new job.
[04:23] How do we create a Venmo character that is tooth fairy that people could send us money
[04:30] that we would send the kids so it's not their parents sending it to them.
[04:35] So we're like at tooth fairy on Venmo.
[04:38] Yeah, on Venmo and we take like a 5% cut.
[04:42] Okay.
[04:43] This is a really good idea.
[04:44] Don't worry about the cash.
[04:45] This might be the best plan you've ever had.
[04:46] Actually, this is the best one I've ever had.
[04:47] I'm not going to put this on the pod.
[04:49] This is actually a really good idea.
[04:51] You don't ought to use Venmo though, that's the problem.
[04:54] No, but I had the idea, Joey, figure it out.
[04:56] Come on.
[04:57] Copy rate that.
[04:58] You're just an idea guy, right?
[05:00] At tooth fairy, no, this is great.
[05:02] And we just take the, you know, and we can create whatever we do,
[05:05] the IVBN where you can't track us or whatever.
[05:08] Yeah, that's definitely a thing.
[05:11] What's the IVBN?
[05:14] Can't track us.
[05:15] What is?
[05:17] Can't track it.
[05:19] Can't track us.
[05:20] I don't know where it is.
[05:21] Nobody knows where it is.
[05:23] That's good.
[05:25] Okay, so get back to the...
[05:27] Okay, so clearly this was the thing that, you know,
[05:31] children go through this quasi-horrific thing
[05:34] and part of their body falls out
[05:38] just as they're becoming conscious of what's going on in the world.
[05:42] And so you gotta calm them down.
[05:44] You gotta justify this in some way.
[05:47] So that's clearly the reason for the legend.
[05:51] It seems European to me
[05:56] in the line of Santa and the Easter Bunny kind of.
[06:02] It's gotta be middle ages, something like that.
[06:08] All right, so I thought we figured,
[06:11] we've never done the Easter Bunny,
[06:13] so that'll be, we'll do that in a few months.
[06:15] But when we did Santa, we figured out that Santa was not middle ages.
[06:21] He was more recent than that, right?
[06:24] He was like 1800s and then he was popularized by Coke and then 1920s or whatever.
[06:32] So he was European in the 1800s
[06:37] and then nationalized here in the 1920s based on money, right?
[06:42] So a corporation that advertised him.
[06:45] So my theory is that Tooth Fairy can't necessarily come before Santa
[06:51] because I feel like Santa's the originator.
[06:53] So here's my theory.
[06:55] Okay, he's like the godfather.
[06:57] Yes, I feel like Santa's the godfather of the things
[06:59] that people come to your house for and give you weird shit for no reason, right?
[07:03] But my theory is that it's connected to something pagan because it always is.
[07:09] So I think there's some weird pagan ritual
[07:12] surrounding teeth where you like bury it
[07:16] and some life creates out of it.
[07:19] So maybe as a child you bury your baby teeth in the ground
[07:24] and then a sprite lives because of your sacrifice or something weird.
[07:29] And that lives on in some sort of background
[07:33] and then that gets connected somehow to
[07:36] when did we start being like
[07:39] I know we've had dentists for a long time that pulled people's teeth.
[07:43] When did we start becoming dentists that worked about dental hygiene?
[07:47] When is that? In the modern era?
[07:50] That's definitely modern era.
[07:52] In the 20th century almost.
[07:56] Maybe the late 19th century or something like that.
[08:00] Okay, so maybe like 1900 to 1920 industrial revolution sort of thing.
[08:06] 1875 plus.
[08:08] Okay, 1875.
[08:10] Let's say in 1875 we start worrying about oral healthcare
[08:15] and that could fall in line similarly to Santa stuff.
[08:20] And so somebody's like I want to make the Santa of teeth.
[08:25] And it's sort of just a whole ploy.
[08:28] That's my theory.
[08:29] Is this like elevator pitch?
[08:31] It's like Santa of teeth.
[08:34] I was sitting in a movie theater and somebody said
[08:37] I saw this advertisement for underwater
[08:40] and I was like elevator pitch aliens underwater.
[08:43] I'm done, right?
[08:44] I haven't seen the movie but that was the advertisement to me.
[08:47] I would have pitched it that way.
[08:49] This is Santa Claus of teeth.
[08:51] This is that pitch meeting.
[08:54] And I assume that that was somehow connected to
[08:58] some ancient burying teeth in the ground.
[09:01] This is my theory.
[09:03] Anybody have other thoughts?
[09:06] I like that.
[09:10] I wonder if there were other potential uses for baby's teeth.
[09:17] That seems like something that would be like involved in witchcraft
[09:21] or something like that.
[09:22] That's why I was trying to bury the teeth and do something with him.
[09:25] Yeah, I don't know.
[09:27] Somehow it's like you mix it in a potion for rejuvenation
[09:31] or something like that.
[09:34] Because it's a part of a young thing.
[09:36] I don't know.
[09:37] I'm just spitballing here.
[09:40] Which makes me wonder if it goes back further.
[09:43] No, I think it definitely is some sort of pagan ritual.
[09:46] It always is the pagan ritual, right?
[09:48] Haven't we learned that?
[09:50] I mean, it's either it's pagans, it's Shakespeare,
[09:54] or it's falconry.
[09:55] And I feel like this is none of the above.
[09:57] So it's pagans.
[10:00] Occasionally Pliny the Elder.
[10:02] Yeah.
[10:03] And follow the money, I think, was one of our other rules.
[10:07] So I'm following the money on this one.
[10:09] I think it's dentists trying to make dentistry popular.
[10:14] Just like Coke was trying to make Santa popular.
[10:18] We've got some weird fairy.
[10:20] Yeah, but I don't know.
[10:22] It's hard for me to see the financial link.
[10:26] How did dentists make out in this world?
[10:28] Right.
[10:29] How's the dental care world binding together
[10:32] to make some money off this?
[10:33] You're right.
[10:34] You're right.
[10:35] I just feel like...
[10:36] Well, maybe they're saying like,
[10:38] yeah, I don't know.
[10:39] Yeah, it just gets people more aware of...
[10:41] Christian teeth care?
[10:42] Dental hygiene.
[10:43] You're right.
[10:44] This doesn't make a ton of sense.
[10:45] I like that.
[10:46] I feel like the tooth fairy comes after Santa.
[10:48] And if Santa doesn't really move into the world,
[10:51] consciousness is still 1800s.
[10:54] What do you got, Joey?
[10:55] What are you thinking?
[10:56] You got ideas.
[10:57] Do you feel like it's pagan, Joey?
[10:59] Or is it more recent?
[11:01] I mean, I guess I'm kind of feeling like this is...
[11:08] Parents sort of explaining away natural body functions.
[11:15] It's more lies that the children are told.
[11:19] Sure.
[11:20] Because today's youth are soft.
[11:24] Okay.
[11:25] So they're giving excuses and a little bit of cash.
[11:30] I guess it does make them a little bit excited for that.
[11:33] So this is like the modern world, then?
[11:34] You're saying modern world.
[11:35] How about this?
[11:36] So, yeah.
[11:37] How about this, though?
[11:39] It also helps the parents account for all the teeth that are...
[11:45] Make sure the kid's not going to swallow it.
[11:47] If they...
[11:48] Oh, okay.
[11:49] It can be like a safety thing.
[11:51] It's a safety thing.
[11:52] Yeah.
[11:53] It's like, all right.
[11:54] I got a tooth here.
[11:55] I know you didn't swallow it.
[11:56] You didn't lose it over at Billy's house.
[11:58] But if you're in the middle ages and you got like 18 kids,
[12:02] you really care.
[12:03] Are you really keeping a teeth count on all your kids?
[12:07] That's just a survival fittest situation.
[12:09] Exactly.
[12:10] If you're choking on the kids.
[12:11] The kid follows a tooth.
[12:12] That's like...
[12:13] Yeah.
[12:14] Yeah.
[12:15] That's your own fault.
[12:16] Exactly.
[12:17] Exactly.
[12:18] The one thing I did...
[12:19] So the idea of giving money for the tooth must be...
[12:21] It supports the argument that it's a newer phenomenon.
[12:25] Because, I mean, disposable income doesn't really exist
[12:29] until the Industrial Revolution or something.
[12:32] Right.
[12:33] Nobody gives their kids anything.
[12:34] They make them work in the fields.
[12:35] That's what kids are for.
[12:36] Yeah.
[12:37] And why would you just waste money to give a kid a dime?
[12:39] Like that's just stupid.
[12:40] Right.
[12:41] Right.
[12:42] Right.
[12:43] Right.
[12:44] Right.
[12:45] But the tooth fairy probably goes back before that.
[12:46] They probably got other things.
[12:47] All right.
[12:48] So we're thinking it's pagan, but it gained popularity
[12:54] after the Industrial Revolution.
[12:56] Yes.
[12:57] This is my theory.
[12:58] But what's the...
[12:59] A scheme by the American Dental Association.
[13:00] This is my theory.
[13:01] But what's the point of a pagan tooth fairy?
[13:03] Is she connected to...
[13:05] Why is teeth important?
[13:06] You're saying it might be witchery or something.
[13:09] It might be nice to have teeth as a part of a spell.
[13:14] I think it just goes to what Joey said.
[13:15] It's just a way to assuage children.
[13:18] From swallowing their own teeth.
[13:20] Exactly.
[13:21] Yeah.
[13:22] Okay.
[13:23] Right.
[13:24] Sure.
[13:25] Okay.
[13:26] Yeah.
[13:27] Because kids have always had their own teeth.
[13:28] They have teeth and they have teeth that fall out.
[13:30] This has been happening since the dawn of time.
[13:32] This is part of how humans...
[13:34] So the tooth fairy's got to be around since the dawn of time.
[13:37] Right?
[13:38] Yeah.
[13:39] Other question.
[13:40] Do other animals...
[13:42] I mean, I know sharks and stuff like that go through...
[13:45] Blue's teeth.
[13:46] Several sets of teeth and elephants go through a couple set of teeth.
[13:50] I think that's a thing.
[13:51] So I guess it's a relatively common thing that people lose a set of teeth.
[13:56] Yeah.
[13:57] I think that's a thing.
[13:58] Okay.
[13:59] Yeah.
[14:00] We've had that all the time in animals.
[14:04] But animals haven't had long enough to come up with the idea of fairies.
[14:09] Hmm.
[14:10] I mean, they'll do it eventually.
[14:13] All right.
[14:16] All right.
[14:17] Evolution, baby.
[14:18] What do we have here?
[14:19] We'll have dog fairies and cat fairies.
[14:23] Elephant fairies.
[14:25] But that's where you draw the line, right?
[14:28] Elephant fairies is where I draw the line.
[14:30] I don't know.
[14:31] I was trying to think of the biggest mammal I could think of.
[14:32] Oh, I guess that would be a whale.
[14:34] Blue whale fairy.
[14:35] Blue whale fairy.
[14:36] Mm-hmm.
[14:37] Teeth are as big as refrigerators.
[14:41] Those are the baby ones, too.
[14:43] Refrigerators, really?
[14:45] I don't know.
[14:46] Probably.
[14:47] I don't know.
[14:48] I don't know.
[14:49] That'll be another...
[14:50] They don't have teeth at all.
[14:52] They don't have teeth at all.
[14:53] Don't they've got the...
[14:54] No, they get the krill through the teeth.
[14:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[14:58] No, not their teeth.
[14:59] They strain that.
[15:01] They don't have teeth.
[15:02] Well, what do they have then?
[15:03] They strain krill through something.
[15:06] It's like a...
[15:07] Mesh face?
[15:08] It's like a mesh, yeah.
[15:09] No.
[15:10] It's like a face mesh.
[15:11] They have teeth.
[15:12] No, no, no.
[15:13] I'm gonna look that up right now.
[15:15] Blue whale.
[15:16] All right.
[15:17] I guess I'll look up tooth fairy while you're looking up blue whale teeth.
[15:22] This has gone off the rails as it always does.
[15:24] Yeah, they're like filter features.
[15:25] Yeah, right there.
[15:26] Filter features.
[15:27] Tooth fairy history.
[15:34] So, what I'm seeing is it goes back to the Norse.
[15:39] Okay.
[15:40] Or the Eddas, which is the earliest written record of Norse in your northern European traditions.
[15:52] There was a tradition of tand fae, or tooth fae, which was paid when a child lost their first
[15:59] tooth.
[16:03] During the Middle Ages, other superstitions arose surrounding children's teeth.
[16:08] In England, for example, children were instructed to burn their baby teeth in order to save the
[16:13] child from hardship in the afterlife.
[16:15] Oh, God.
[16:16] That's a lot of...
[16:17] That's intense.
[16:18] Yeah.
[16:20] The Vikings paid children for their teeth.
[16:25] Blah, blah, blah.
[16:27] They were thought to bring good luck in battle.
[16:30] Scandinavian warriors hung children's teeth on a string around their necks.
[16:36] Fear of witches was another reason to bury or burn teeth.
[16:40] Yeah.
[16:41] Blah, blah, blah.
[16:42] So, this has been going on forever is what you're saying.
[16:46] Yeah.
[16:47] It seems like it.
[16:48] Well, in northern Europe.
[16:49] It seems like it's a northern European thing, so we're kind of right on that.
[16:55] Unlike Father Christmas, in the Easter Bunny, there are a few details of the tooth fairy's
[17:00] appearance that are consistent in various versions of the myth.
[17:10] In a 1984 study, 70% believed the tooth fairy to be female, 12% believed it to be neither
[17:18] male nor female, and 8% believed it could be either male or female.
[17:26] Yeah.
[17:28] Wings, wand.
[17:31] So, the origins are believed to be a cross between two myths.
[17:35] First, a legend of a mouse that sneaks into a child's bedroom and performs the cash-for-teeth
[17:40] swap.
[17:41] Okay.
[17:42] A legend that spans everywhere from Russia to Mexico.
[17:46] The second is the typical good fairy, a mainly European figure that crept in its way over
[17:51] the Atlantic.
[17:52] This lore makes the rise of the Disney in the mid-1960s that became the cultural explosion
[17:57] of the tooth fairy.
[18:04] So the 60s is when she like blew up?
[18:07] In the, according to this site, the 60s is when she took a cultural hold in the Americas,
[18:14] but that it has pagan history and yeah, this is, I'm not sure that I trust that site.
[18:22] Oh my goodness.
[18:25] No, I'm seeing this as well.
[18:28] The average per tooth, and this is as of several years ago, it was $3.70 a tooth.
[18:37] $3.70?
[18:38] Yeah, and that's, and that's, yeah, this article is from 2014, so five years.
[18:46] It's got to be five bucks, five bucks a tooth now.
[18:48] It might be worth having a kid just for that.
[18:52] I don't think that's how it works.
[18:58] Okay, so this says that tooth legends have, are prehistory, but the modern tooth fairy
[19:11] is not until the 1900s where you receive coins under a pillow, which makes sense since
[19:22] there probably weren't a lot of people sleeping in pillows with coins laying around.
[19:28] This article in salon.com is saying that the payment for anything after the first tooth
[19:36] is distinctly American.
[19:38] Oh, so your first tooth, you get something, but that, uh, yeah, I think that's the way
[19:44] it traditionally had been.
[19:46] You get the first one, because that's the scariest, they're saying like, that's the
[19:49] scariest one.
[19:50] So you get a little, a little nice, uh, a nice little bonus for that.
[19:54] But after that, you know what's up.
[19:57] You know how this, this goes.
[19:58] I just, um, there, there seems to be rituals all over the world from as long as we can
[20:04] go back of tooth sacrifice between burying teeth, burning teeth, throwing teeth between
[20:15] your legs.
[20:16] I don't know what that means.
[20:19] Let's dig into that.
[20:20] Yeah.
[20:21] I'm seeing a lot of like, uh, the teeth were thought to be like protective or if they got
[20:28] in the wrong hands, they would give some sort of power over you.
[20:32] Like if a witch got your tooth, then they would have power over you, but then you don't
[20:36] want to do that.
[20:37] You got to do something else instead.
[20:39] Place your tooth by your bedside and that would board off evil spirits kind of thing.
[20:44] Um, so, so can we agree that I win then?
[20:49] We, I said it was a pagan idea that blew up at, uh, uh, after Santa, I'd like to agree
[20:58] that no one's talked about the 2010 film, the tooth fairy, uh, just, uh, starring Dwayne
[21:04] and rock Johnson and Ashley Judd.
[21:06] I know nobody, I know nobody wins this game.
[21:08] I don't mean to be, yeah, I mean the, the thing that I'm not seeing is a, uh, capitalist
[21:15] scheme.
[21:17] Oh, there's no dentists in charge of this thing.
[21:19] It's a, it's not something I'm coming across a lot of.
[21:23] Uh, so it's just, it's just a Disney scheme and that's not capitalist.
[21:26] Come on.
[21:27] But I mean, it's not like, uh, you know, bed sizes or something like that.
[21:34] Right.
[21:35] Right.
[21:36] Right.
[21:37] Right.
[21:38] Um, and then tooth fairy two, it stars Larry, the cable guy, you've seen so many tooth
[21:46] fairy movies.
[21:47] They didn't need it as a sequel.
[21:48] I think we nailed it.
[21:51] Also Coalson FYI, uh, the, the, uh, blue whales, their teeth evolved into the baleen, uh, which
[22:03] strain the krill and whatnot.
[22:05] So they have no teeth.
[22:06] Oh, so they're not actually teeth.
[22:08] No, that's, they evolved into the filter feeder system.
[22:14] So it's just like a, it's a grill.
[22:16] They just roll around with a grill.
[22:18] Yep.
[22:19] That's where the term came from.
[22:20] Oh, I don't know.
[22:21] I'm just, all right.
[22:22] Well, I hope you learned something, uh, all you children or parents of children or, uh,
[22:33] adults with no children or whales with teeth with whales with or without teeth.
[22:40] I got the new stats in from our, our podcast.
[22:43] Uh, and we're, we're doing really well with the whale demographic.
[22:47] Yeah.
[22:48] Well, uh, hopefully we'll have the full squad back with you next week.
[22:54] Um, shout out Harper shout out until then you can hit us up on social media.
[23:00] We are on Twitter at under beatables or on facebook.com slash the end of beatables.
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[23:30] For our once and always coach Bobby so center now in the hall of fame, turn out the lights.
[23:37] The party's over.
[23:39] Okay.
[23:40] Yep.
[23:41] Yep.
[23:46] Yep.
[23:47] Yep.
[23:48] Yep.
[23:49] Roden's.
[23:50] Roden's not their teeth down.
[23:51] So they don't have to.
[23:52] Okay.
[23:53] Lose teeth.
[23:54] So, so Roden's don't have a tooth fair is what we're learning.
[24:02] That just got tired of a tooth fair.
[24:05] Oh yeah.
[24:06] That just got, oh man, you just blew my mind.
[24:10] Tooth fairies don't have tooth fairies.
[24:11] Like who watches the watchers out growing, you know, steal all this other baby teeth.
[24:16] Oh yeah.
[24:17] Replace it.
[24:19] I do like the idea of like a little small mouse size grubby gremlin, like coming and
[24:24] grabbing my tooth and like making something special out of it or making a wish on it or
[24:30] turning it to a witch's stew.
[24:32] I like that better.
[24:33] That's more interesting.
[24:34] Mm hmm.
[24:35] Yeah.
[24:36] Yep.
[24:37] Yeah.
[24:38] The older I get the greater.
[24:39] That's what I'm going to tell my kids.
[24:40] Yeah, exactly.
[24:41] Exactly.
[24:42] We should do, if we should do some experiments and see, you know, just scare the shit out
[24:47] of your kids and be like, so these little creepy mouse sized gremlins are going to come
[24:52] take the teeth out from under your pillow.
[24:54] They are going to leave you some money.
[24:55] Don't worry.
[24:56] But then they're going to go like do some experiment on your baby teeth.
[24:59] Yeah.
[25:00] And make certain kids don't.
[25:01] They are going to get magical powers.
[25:03] Right.
[25:04] And then he'd tell some other kid that like, okay, what you got to do is you got to burn
[25:07] that tooth.
[25:08] Right.
[25:09] Like if you don't burn that tooth.
[25:10] That's right.
[25:11] You're going to be here forever.
[25:12] Right.
[25:13] Right.
[25:14] Exactly.
[25:15] Just, you know, chuck this through your legs and see what happens.
[25:18] It's like throwing your shoulder, your shoulder, you know, was that burn burn if you got him?
[25:25] I didn't realize that was about teeth.